4.14.2008

The Breaking of One's Heart

I am in North Carolina this week for Spring Break. This break is much needed and I am thankful for it. Although it is a change from the hustle of college life and work, it is proving itself to be bittersweet and not so restful.

Samantha got news this past Tuesday about her grandfather's passing. His funeral was yesterday in Lexington, SC. I accompanied her to the funeral. His funeral reminded me of when my grandfather passed away my senior year of high school. I think I will miss him until the Lord takes me home. Yesterday, at the funeral, I was reminded of how our lives can truly impact others. The legacy that Samantha's grandfather has left behind is nothing short of amazing. Although I was only able to meet him a few times, I am definitely challenged by the example he set as a man of God.

Today, I am in Winston-Salem, NC, visiting with my grandmother. She is currently in Wake Forest University Baptist Hospital. Being in Boston and hearing the updates from Dad and Ang are a far cry from being here and seeing it first hand. When I walked through the door of Room 814 this morning, my heart began to break as I first laid eyes on her. The image of the energetic, always encouraging Maw Maw, to whom I can run with whatever life throws me, quickly fled and was replaced by a thin, frail woman who is just ready to no longer be in pain. As I embraced her; her tears began to fall. She was joyful to see us [Ang, Samantha and myself].

My heart breaks to see her in this state. I remember watching helplessly as my grandfather's health slowly and painfully drained from his life. I am not ready to go through that again. I do not want to revisit that pain - not yet; not with her.

This is the breaking of my heart.

Tomorrow, I will be spending the day with Ang; I miss seeing her all the time. I am sure it will turn into a photography session - and possibly a spontaneous trip into downtown. It will be fun. Wednesday will be spent applying for a transfer to a J Crew in Charlotte for the summer. Phillip [one of my best friends and cousin] and I will hopefully get some time to chill this week. I will go to CBF on Wednesday night. I miss that group of people. CBF is the bible study I attended, while I was going to school at UNC-Charlotte.

I will post updates throughout the week as I can. Please pray. Pray for healing. Pray for comfort. Pray for peace as I and my family learn to accept what God has willed in this situation.

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